Watch out for that iceberg.

Being in the moment and, aware of the moment.

Using the phrase ‘that’s just the tip of the iceberg’ as a metaphor, let’s say the tip is the part of the iceberg that we can see – for humans that would be our observable actions and behaviors, as that is what’s visible. However, the Titanic comes to mind in this metaphor due to the vast amount of ice that lies beneath that tip. For humans, this would equate to the invisible drivers of our actions, the stuff that’s usually out of sight, like our thoughts and feelings, our values and beliefs, our needs and fears. When we are unaware of these drivers, we can be frozen in ineffective, reactionary behavior that results in outcomes we don’t want. So, the question is, how do we become aware of what’s going on below the surface to create the outcomes we do want? 

In 2002 Harvard Kennedy School professor’s Ron Heifetz and Marty Linsky introduced a profoundly useful metaphor: the Balcony and the Dance. They refer to the dance as where all the action happens, and the balcony as a place where you can observe the action, where you have broader visibility of what’s happening. The trick is to do both simultaneously, just like the infamous Wayne Gretzky’s ability to play not only to where the puck ‘was’, but to ‘where it was going’. With expanded awareness, he could see the broader picture and then take the best action in the moment.

 One of the most challenging balconies to be on is the balcony of ‘yourself’, to be self-aware of your invisible drivers and modulate your behavior according to the situation, whatever dance you may be in. It’s very easy to get immersed in the dance, ‘in the moment’ of the action. It’s not as easy to be on the balcony at the same time, to be ‘aware of the moment’ while it’s unfolding. Yet, this balcony is the most crucial as it influences how you show up and how you navigate any given situation and ultimately, the outcomes you create.

By expanding your awareness in the moment, you are able to observe your behaviour and in real time choose how to best modify it. For example, if you find yourself getting defensive in a conversation: you become aware that you are being defensive because you notice your thoughts and feelings, perhaps you feel you are being made wrong (balcony). What if you chose to modify your response to one of curiosity? Perhaps you ask more questions and discover you are making inaccurate assumptions (dance). This could potentially shift the tide of the conversation and help you avoid getting caught in a downward spiral.

 While this can be challenging, the key is to practice, to build a habit of zooming out (expanding your awareness) while being engaged in the activity at hand. By doing so, you’ll be able to navigate more effectively – you’ll be able to watch out for that iceberg.